Lost pieces of laundry

I don't want to sound like a strawberry but it seems that men just love me and what can I say, I love men too. I've been in many situations that I wish would of turned out a little differently when it comes to men.For example, there was a guy I met through a friend, who I thought was quite attractive, and well lets just say that some other friends of mine thought he was quite attractive too. Me and this guy seemed to really hit it off, so one night we went out dancing with another one of my friends (this is one of my friends who liked him also) and when the night ended I wanted to spend a little more time with him, to get to know him better. I drop my friend off and proceed to go back to his place. We settle down on the bed and talk a little bit, then we decide to watch a movie, Snatch. The movie was way long but pretty good. He fell asleep but awoke when the credits started to role. We talked about the movie and what we loved doing and what we want to do when we graduate. Then some how we started kissing and it felt so good but I wanted to stop. We stopped but then I started it up again and we ended up doing a lot more than kissing. The next day I woke up and tell him bye and leave. I think you know it was a one night stand no big deal but I soon realize that I really have feelings for this person. Apparently, this person had feelings for me too but I did not find that out until it was too late. Some other friends of mine thought it was a good idea to try and sleep with this person too but he did not. He soon starts to think that I used him for sex because of my friends trying to sleep with him. I'm shocked, I actually really liked this guy but my friends being selfish and not respecting me and my relationship with this person ruined a potentially good thing. This happened my sophomore year of college and it is now my senior and I have yet to talk to this guy. It hurts a little because he is a really great guy that felt used and you know it actually surprised me. I couldn't believe a guy sometimes felt like a girl and felt used when it came to sex. It made me rethink how I viewed men and their quest for sex. Maybe you can have sex and make it work.

the third load of laundry

So, I'm thinking that I'm in a good place right now until a guy walks by that has hurt me in my past, present, and future. His name escapes my lips and brings me back to a place that I thought I left years ago. We used to be close but then something changed; maybe it was my fault or maybe it was his. This boy and I had a special moment not once, not twice, not even three times. Every moment he was around made the moment special, he just had that ability to melt my heart with his stare and stop my breathe when he smiled. I once let this boy know how I feel and he did not dismiss my feelings like I thought he would. He instead said, "Let's see what happens. You know nothing is ever certain." He then gives me a wink and we leave it at that.
Days start to go by that we don't talk or see each other, then those days turn to weeks, months, years. I start dating someone else and I'm happy then all of a sudden----I see him and how amazing he looks. He melts me like time has not robbed us of our time together. Days go by that I see him and talk to him everyday and then there are days and weeks, I don't see him at all but phase me, it does not. I'm happy with my man, I really am. I've been in my relationship for about 2 years and then things start to get rocky. I'm itching to be free so I start going out with my boys and living my life. I run into him at the club and it's like nothing has changed between us. I can't help but want him and I'm hoping he feels the same. We talk and I tell him of my dilemma. He schools me on how if I'm not happy then it's not worth it to stay and that taking a "break" is not the way to go. I understand and I know what I have to do. The break up does not happen as soon as it should but I'm partying and going out like I am single anyway. So, I'm out one night and there he is yet again stealing my breathe away. We talk and interact as though we are the only two around and then he invites me to his place. Score!!! but wait I'm not a single woman but this is the moment I've been waiting for and I'm not about to let this pass.
We get back to his place and play a little Tiesto to set the mood. The bed is so inviting to our bodies that are calling out to each other. I want to get out of my clothes, so I ask for a shirt and some boxers. I'm not afraid to show him exactly what I'm looking to do and what I want to happen. We both get comfortable in the bed and just talk and look at the time on the ceiling. Time starts to pass and it gets later and later. I let him know that I'm surprised that he even had feelings for me. He lets me know that he has been in love with me for years but was just afraid to tell me. I can't believe my ears. Could we finally experience the life we were supposed to have together? I let him know before anything goes any further that I'm not a single woman. He understands but I can tell he is hurt by the news. I, however, don't let that stop our night from ending the way I want it to. We turn and stare into each others eyes with such passion. I have not felt such passion in a long time, then the magic moment happens, we kiss and it is just like I imagined, heaven. We get lost in the moment and in the passion. It starts to get heavy, but I can't. I stop him even though I don't want the night to end. I leave him with sadness in my eyes and heart but he leaves me with a kiss I can't forget. This nights makes me realize, my relationship with my boyfriend of 2 years must end.
My relationship ends and I think," Yes, I can finally be with the person that fuels my flame." I however ended up very disappointed. After my breakup, I talk to my lighter fluid and he seems different towards me. He does not talk as much and seems cold towards me. I don't understand so i let him know again that I am interested in pursuing a relationship and he does not turn me down, he agrees. I'm thinking, "Perfect." How wrong again I was. Right after he tells me this, he starts talking and flirting with another girl in front of me. I could not believe my eyes. How could he break my heart like this? I immediately leave and cry all the way home. The next day he finds out how heartbroken I am and decides to send me an apology. He explains how he can not give me what I want and need. This does not make sense. How can you tell me that you love me but don't want to pursue anything with me then I think that I've been used. He just said that to sleep with me, which hurts even more. Our situation to this day has not changed and it is still devastating. How can you lie to my face and lead me on to only deny me in the end? You never explained your feelings and why you can not give me what I want? Help me to understand.
Now, if this situation had actually happened what would you do? Can you explain his behaviour and is this the end of something that had the potential to be great? Situations like this arise way too often and the majority of the time the girl is the one who is lost and confused. In some situations though the guy is the one lost and confused. How do you deal with this? Do you think there is a way to get the other person to finally come clean and talk or is it really a lost cause and just lost pieces of laundry?

The second load of laundry

So here is the second load of laundry coming at you. So, at the moment I'm having a little bit of a falling out with a very good friend of mine who I consider one of my best friends. This occurred because I feel that I have always been there for him when he has been going through so much and yet he could not pick up the phone to see how I am doing and why I'm upset. I want to be friends with somebody who actually cares about our friendship and whether or not we talk. I know that the majority of you would want the same thing. I feel like this person has been taking our friendship for granted and I would just like for this person to acknowledge the fact that he needs to be better to his friends. In the past, he has had many falling outs with his friends and he has been devastated by it and just couldn't live without them but when it comes to me, the person that he has been friends with for 4 years, he is nowhere to be found. It's kind of sad for me and it really hurts my feelings but what can I do. I don't feel like I'm wrong in the situation and I just want him to be man enough to tell me what's up, you know? Well, there is nothing more I can say about the situation. Just know, that sometimes you have to cut people from your life who are not helping you improve yourself and who doesn't appreciate you. The only thing you can do is pray and know that God will take care of you in the end.

More Random Laundry

So more random laundry coming your way. This is not dirty laundry just clean fun clothes to look upon. I was having the most random dream today and it was about Lil Mama the rapper and she came up with this ridiculous song about doing her hair. Now, what makes this dream really weird is the fact that I had one similar to this one the day before. The only thing that makes the dream really weird is the fact that when there is dialogue, it is fantastic. It flows and make sense even if it is a song about doing hair. The thing that sucks is that when I'm awake though, I never write or think of anything that creative. It really is quite annoying. So, the question that I pose is how does one make a dream a reality or at least the dialogue a reality? Well, the closest thing that I found is lucid dreaming, which may or may not help my situation. Lucid dreaming is basically when a person is aware that they are dreaming and can alter their dreams however they want. Usually when a person uses lucid dreaming they use it to solve problems that they have in their life that they don't know how to handle in real life. If you find this idea to be interesting then there are books on lucid dreaming and there is a website that gives a little introduction on the subject. The site is http://self-improvement.readigg.com/description/12518.html. If you need more information than that then check out http://www.lucidity.com/ or just google lucid dreaming.

Random laundry

So I am very much upset at a piece of laundry that continues to dirty my thoughts and feelings. I feel as though I'm trying to make an effort to change my life and he finds the need to question how I must change my life. I've really been hanging out with myself a lot more lately and all of a sudden because I realize I want to hang out with myself, he feels like I'm being mean. Like I said before, the biggest mistake I ever made was having a guy take care of me. Never do it or if you do make sure you have some money stockpiled somewhere so you can leave him (that is if you want to). I'm no longer with this guy but he still pays for my bills and rent and whatnot. I know he's a great guy but I'm just trying to work on myself and my thought is that if you love me and care about me then you will understand my wanting to be alone and not around people all the time. He seems to think that I'm only nice to him when I want money but that's not true. I've always been nice and always want to know how he is doing but he never does the same yet he sees me as being mean? I know I'm only giving my side of the story and I hate bias stories so I'm just going to leave it at that. Take it or leave it and wear it or not but just keep in mind that independence is the best quality that anyone could have. Never ever depend on anyone cause in the end all you have is yourself.

The first load of laundry

When it comes to dirty laundry, I've got a lot, maybe even more than people realize. I hide my deeds better than most and very rarely do they ever come out. Sometimes, I want them too but it's better for the parties involved that this laundry stays in the bag. My deeds aren't too devious but I guess you could say some are. You be the judge of that. I just tell the stories that people want to hear. All of these situations are not about me and don't alway involve me. Sometimes the loads will flow and sometimes they won't but you know laundry never does. I hope you don't get too caught up in the wash cycle like all the others before because my cycle moves faster than most.