Finally no laundry...well....maybe

I for once do not have any laundry to air or get clean. I've been on this being somewhat truthful kick which has the possibility to get me in trouble. I broke up with the boy and I'm happy about it. If you read my last post and other post of mine then you know how I feel about relationships and what not. If you haven't then I'll let you know that I really am not feeling relationships. I think the idea of being with one person right now is not right for me. I like the idea of having sex with whomever if I wanted too but that's not the case. I have the option to get sex on the regular from plenty of dudes but I'm addicted to one guy and one guy only at the moment (reference the post below). I know it seems I talk about sex a lot and guys a lot and I do because I'm very much boy crazy and very much into sex. Don't get me wrong, I do not just sleep with whomever, I mean sometimes shit happens but you know what I'm getting at. You know talking about sex brought a thought to my mind. So the idea of the friend with benefits and cut buddy is a very interesting topic of discussion. One of my new favorite blogs, singleblackmale.net talked about this topic some months ago and he was explaining the difference between a cut buddy and a friend with benefits. Obviously, I get the difference but what confuses me is that one person who isn't really a friend but seems more than a cut buddy. How is this possible? Well, let me give an example. I have a guy who puts it on a chick on the regular and mind you he don't know the chick that well so I would classify him as a cut buddy but then after sex he tends to have a conversation which throws me because if you are cut buddies then you need not know any personal information about each other besides are you clean. You about getting it in and that's about it. So, the conversation tends to be about significant others and family and birthdays and things that friends would talk about. However, they never have hung out in a setting that does not include a bed. Initially, when this guy and chick started talking it was as they were going to date each other but that quickly changed. So, I ask the question, is it that this guy feels bad just using chick for sex so he feels the need to be somewhat on the friend level even though it's not like they go out and have a cup of joe together or lunch? Or does this guy actually still kind of feel chick on another level but has reasons or circumstances that make that impossible?

Sexy Dirty Laundry

So, I've been in sort of a slump lately when it comes to the attraction of men. I feel like I've been wearing repellent or something. Well, that's not entirely true. I can attract guys but the problem is that they are never my type. I also tend to have a few men in my Rolodex who are my type but they are only good for two things: sex and dinner. Mostly sex. I must say the idea of going without sex for even one day seems a little harsh to me. It's like I've become addicted to sex since the introduction to some good in my life. The one guy who has me begging for him to give it to me every minute of everyday is a military man who has a body that makes me melt and knows how to put it on me.
Sunday seemed like a dream nothing more than a mere fantasy. The mood was set perfect with candles burning and R. Kelly playing in the background. I walk in amazed at how he always knows what to do to make the night right. He leans against the wall and pulls me closer to him as he kisses my lips. He then moves his hands down to my pants and slowly unbuttons them while kissing me slowly. My mind is focused only on him. Not on the fact that I have boyfriend who loves me or on my ex who hates me but still loves me and paying for my apartment. I'm focused only on him with his beautiful eyes and sexy arms and amazing stomach. He's like an ice cream sundae on a hot summer day. He slowly leads me to the bed and that's when the real fun begins. His fingers run all down my body while my lips kiss every inch of his. Slowly I move down towards his penis and begin to pleasure him orally. His penis feels amazing in my mouth and I love how I make him moan. He cups my breast and starts to gently suck on them. We both seem to just melt into each other. Soon enough our bodies are so intertwined its like chocolate and vanilla swirl. The night seems to go on for hours but soon enough we climax together and we see the sun rise. The night ended too quickly and he had to be back to his post. On the drive back we have this amazing conversation. I always find it weird how much closer I feel to him after we've had sex when in all actuality we barely know each other. Sometimes I wish we were together but he's good for one thing well more than one thing but that's not what our relationship is meant to be. That's what makes the time between us special.
If only this was true. Can you tell me what's fact and what's fiction? I bet you can't. This is what I would like to happen between me and military man but like I said our relationship is not meant to be that way and that can be applied in more ways than one. He's still the best sex I've ever had but not because his stroke is necessarily the best but because he always makes every encounter very intimate. Not to mention he is living prove of some damn R. Kelly lyrics. So that makes every moment with him sexy dirty and you know you always have laundry after a night of debauchery and fun.

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Now playing: FeFe Dobson - Watch Me Move
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Brand New Laundry Old Dirt

So, I've been a bad girl and getting dirty by things of the past. I really think I might kind of be addicted to something that I never in my life thought I would be. It's amazing what something good will do to you. I've also got some new laundry but in the process of getting it dirty already. I am in a relationship if you can call it that. I lost my best friend in the process who also happened to be my ex-boyfriend. I miss him more than I ever thought I would. 4 years thrown away because he couldn't handle me sleeping with someone else which I guess is understandable since he's still in love with me. I never meant to hurt him in anyway and I feel terrible. Everyday I think about him and my heart breaks all over again. I guess I love him more than I realize. It's like the Jazmine Sullivan song, "I Need You Bad." That amazes me but this is what he wanted so he can get over me and I can respect that. Now, this new guy is pretty amazing but I really don't want to be in a relationship. I know the only reason why I am with him is because he broke up with his girlfriend of 3 years to be with me. I, however, am at a point in my life where I only want to be by myself and date around. I don't want to be promiscuous or anything but the idea of being with one guy right now is stupid to me. I know that there is more than one man in this world who can please me and teach me things. I feel right now that every guy that I talk to is not for me. I could tell that before anything popped off and when you get to that point, it makes you feel in control of what happens with your love life as well as your sex life. I feel in more control now than ever before. I feel like my life is on the right track right now. I've just made the decision to take the semester off of school to focus on what I really want to do and do a little soul searching. I really feel at peace about all most everything in my life even though I may have to struggle and endure hard times. I'm still strong enough to do it and that's all that matters. There is no more making excuses about why I can't do this or that. I feel focused and soon enough everyone in the world will know my name and what I'm all about. I am destined to do big things and nothing is going to stop that.

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Now playing: New Kids On The Block - Single
via FoxyTunes