Saturday, April 2, 2011
Throw it away
I'm a little upset but I shouldn't be. I've come to a conclusion, I'm over talking to guys at the moment. I'm taking a hiatus because too many things have been happening recently to make me despise not like guys. I like people who are truthful and I've been running into too many who like to give off a certain impression about things and it be the furthest thing from the truth. I'm over it. I'm throwing all of this laundry away and starting fresh. Some laundry is good for one wear only and then you throw it away.
Friday, April 1, 2011
Rinse and Repeat
This past weekend was interesting to say the least. I got dumped by Facebook well sort of kind of not really. I got a huge self-esteem boost from all the random people on the streets of New Orleans and I got some reassurance from friends that I should keep writing. I also had one of the most amazing Monday nights of my life and now I'm not sure what to do about it or rather how to handle it.
Concerning this past weekend, Thursday I drank myself silly with friends from out of town which turned into Friday where I puked my guts out all day. After I finally stopped the puke parade, I went on a movie date with a good friend where we proceeded to realize that the happy express we were on just got derailed and we are on the verge of dying. Somehow the weekend revived me and now I'm back on the happy train (while writing this I just got kicked off. Living the writer lifestyle is not okay. Well, it is but you know.) Saturday started out blah but then I got drinks and food with some good friends that reminded me why I love this city so much and why God told me that New Orleans is where I was meant to be. While basking in these happy thoughts, I happen to check Facebook and get a kick in the stomach by seeing or at least what seems like me getting told that that guy you were talking to is now in a relationship with someone. Ohh, burn. Totally hurt my feelings but then I proceeded to participate in cloudlife and the sting kind of went away. I also received a text from someone that I didn't expect. He invites me out and I learned that he was kind of feeling me, in which, made the night ten times better because I was kind of feeling him too. Besides that, I got complimented A LOT. A girl loves nothing more than to be complimented but some of the things these guys were saying was just off the wall and unacceptable. Especially, the guy who called me a gazelle and then referred to himself as a cougar hunting a mouse and instead found a gazelle. Yeah, the fact that that reference was in relation to sex was even creepier but probably not as bad as the guy that pulled along side me while I was walking and told me to get in. Excuse me sir, but I don't know you. Though that could of been an amazing sexual encounter that ish was just way beyond creepy.
This leads me to Monday night in which my encounter was amazing and the person who I thought was cute became uber sexy. I, for one, do not believe in casual sex and one night stands and neither of those things happened but that brings to mind all the things in between. The make out sessions and heavy petting that leads to other things. I'm not quite sure how I feel about these things. I'm into relationship sex and heavy petting and making out. I want it to have a deeper meaning than either one of us just getting our rocks off. It makes me realize I've been out of the game for way too long. My encounter on Monday with sexy guy literally blew my mind more so because of how connected it felt. Our fingers intertwining and the feel of his fingers on my skin was so sensual. It seemed like I was the only woman in the world that he wanted to be with. There was just this crazy amount of energy between us that I have never felt before. I liked it and want it to happen again on a regular basis. Will it? I don't know. I think he knows how I feel about the situation and if he doesn't he soon will. Oh and did I mention, the kissing was amazing? Even if he did ask to kiss me. I like guys to be forward and take it so to speak. If the oppourtunity is there, then it should be taken.
At the end of the day, I can say that things are on the up and up I guess. After Saturday, I realized that my trust and faith in people was dying and I still believe it is. Did sexy guy slightly change that? Yes and no. I guess I still have a problem with trusting myself and what I feel. I always have that feeling of being lied to by everyone just to be nice. I can't be with anyone until I'm over that but I think if things progress the way I would like them to with sexy guy then I could be over it. Hmm. We will see what happens but until then I'll rinse and repeat until I get it right.
Concerning this past weekend, Thursday I drank myself silly with friends from out of town which turned into Friday where I puked my guts out all day. After I finally stopped the puke parade, I went on a movie date with a good friend where we proceeded to realize that the happy express we were on just got derailed and we are on the verge of dying. Somehow the weekend revived me and now I'm back on the happy train (while writing this I just got kicked off. Living the writer lifestyle is not okay. Well, it is but you know.) Saturday started out blah but then I got drinks and food with some good friends that reminded me why I love this city so much and why God told me that New Orleans is where I was meant to be. While basking in these happy thoughts, I happen to check Facebook and get a kick in the stomach by seeing or at least what seems like me getting told that that guy you were talking to is now in a relationship with someone. Ohh, burn. Totally hurt my feelings but then I proceeded to participate in cloudlife and the sting kind of went away. I also received a text from someone that I didn't expect. He invites me out and I learned that he was kind of feeling me, in which, made the night ten times better because I was kind of feeling him too. Besides that, I got complimented A LOT. A girl loves nothing more than to be complimented but some of the things these guys were saying was just off the wall and unacceptable. Especially, the guy who called me a gazelle and then referred to himself as a cougar hunting a mouse and instead found a gazelle. Yeah, the fact that that reference was in relation to sex was even creepier but probably not as bad as the guy that pulled along side me while I was walking and told me to get in. Excuse me sir, but I don't know you. Though that could of been an amazing sexual encounter that ish was just way beyond creepy.
This leads me to Monday night in which my encounter was amazing and the person who I thought was cute became uber sexy. I, for one, do not believe in casual sex and one night stands and neither of those things happened but that brings to mind all the things in between. The make out sessions and heavy petting that leads to other things. I'm not quite sure how I feel about these things. I'm into relationship sex and heavy petting and making out. I want it to have a deeper meaning than either one of us just getting our rocks off. It makes me realize I've been out of the game for way too long. My encounter on Monday with sexy guy literally blew my mind more so because of how connected it felt. Our fingers intertwining and the feel of his fingers on my skin was so sensual. It seemed like I was the only woman in the world that he wanted to be with. There was just this crazy amount of energy between us that I have never felt before. I liked it and want it to happen again on a regular basis. Will it? I don't know. I think he knows how I feel about the situation and if he doesn't he soon will. Oh and did I mention, the kissing was amazing? Even if he did ask to kiss me. I like guys to be forward and take it so to speak. If the oppourtunity is there, then it should be taken.
At the end of the day, I can say that things are on the up and up I guess. After Saturday, I realized that my trust and faith in people was dying and I still believe it is. Did sexy guy slightly change that? Yes and no. I guess I still have a problem with trusting myself and what I feel. I always have that feeling of being lied to by everyone just to be nice. I can't be with anyone until I'm over that but I think if things progress the way I would like them to with sexy guy then I could be over it. Hmm. We will see what happens but until then I'll rinse and repeat until I get it right.
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