New Makes for Clean Laundry

So the past couple of days have been kind of interesting for me. I've been thinking about my year so far, and I have realized that a lot of older men have expressed interest in me and I'm a little taken back by it. I'm not saying it is a bad thing but it catches me off guard. I like older men but I question whether or not a man who is 15 years my senior is a good fit for me. I think so. I just met this man who I'm really taken with and I'm unsure why. When I first met him I didn't even feel him in that way but the way he engaged me caught me off guard. It intrigued me, I suppose. Don't get me wrong, he is very attractive but I didn't notice his attractiveness at first. He just seemed like a nice guy to talk to and not to mention he was very observant. I like when a man is observant. He classified me as a person who likes form and function, in which, I never thought of myself like that but it does make sense. It makes me wonder if he is the right form and function for me. Now, I don't know him nor does he know me but he makes me feel like a high school girl every time I talk to him or think about him. I probably shouldn't put that in writing but eh. I mean, I get extra giddy and smiley, and I don't know how to handle it. We haven't even been on a date yet and I'm not even sure one will happen, though I hope it does. I also met another guy last night who told me he liked my swag and the way I carried myself. He also said, I was dressed like a woman is supposed to be dressed and that because of my demeanor I attracted quality men. I chuckled. It was cute though the use of the word swag is played out. I appreciated him saying those things because recently I've been having issues with the way I look. I know that I am an attractive person but sometimes, which has been a lot recently, I feel unattractive when I'm out. I'm not really one to be extremely girly and I feel like guys just kind of look past me. There were girls last night dressed in flattering clothing and heels with guys all around and it bothered me a bit. It made me feel unattractive because I had on a turtleneck sweater and jeans. I'm not looking for anyone to constantly tell me that I'm beautiful, I've heard that plenty of times and sometimes those words mean nothing when coming out of some peoples mouths but I digress. I'm not looking for people to comment and say I'm attractive, I know that already. I want someone to show me because words can only go so far but actions speak louder, much louder. I also learned a long time ago that the way you dress does not necessarily have a direct correlation to men being attracted to you. Most females feel the need to dress slutty in order to feel sexy but sexy is not in the way you dress but in the way you carry yourself. Years ago I learned that when I went out in a black sweater and white pants with boots. I literally had almost every inch of my body covered and I got complimented more that night than any other night I had been out. Ever since that night, seeing me in something short or uber revealing does not happen that often. I guess I've grown a lot as a person, a lot more than I realized. For instance, my friends and I have recently been talking about dating people and relationships and we have all agreed upon one thing, everybody has a problem or problems and it has to be decided whether or not we want to deal with that problem. I'm going to go ahead and put my problems out there. For one, I have trust issues but I'm getting better with that. I'm also a jealous person but that comes and goes and usually I'll hide that ish before I say anything about it, which is not good but eh, I'm working on it. I probably have some other ones but those are the big ones. I've also learned to say what it is that I want, well I've actually always done that especially when it comes to males. Time is too short to be afraid to tell a guy that you like him. Too many people are afraid of rejection but at some point it is going to happen so why not embrace it and kick rejections ass. Sometimes I have a tendency to be a little forward when it comes to matters of the heart but that's because I get excited about the prospect of intimacy. And by intimacy, I mean on more than a physical level but an mental and emotional level. Either way, I'm pretty happy with where things are progressing in my life. In a few weeks, I hope to have good news about a certain someone who has recently entered my life and I'm working on loving me no matter what.