True Love Never Washes Away

So I receive emails from Hugh McLeod who does gapingvoid and the artwork of the day is a heart with the words we made it! He proceeds to explain about the difference between romantic love and true love and it hits me like a ton of bricks. I’ve being living my life okay with romantic love and wanting that, but true love is what I need. I’ve experienced true love once before where you just wake up one day and realize I’m in love with my best friend. That feeling still persist to this day but the guy and me are no longer together. Will we end up together, maybe. I’m more of the school of whatever happens,happens.
Since we are on the topic of love, I’m finally going through the break up for real this time. The guy I’ve been dating off and on for the past 5 years is finally going to be out of my life. Am I sad about it? Extremely, especially because I’m letting him keep the cats but it is time for both of us to move on. We’ve been fighting and trying and it just hasn’t worked. I’ve cheated on him multiple times and do I feel bad about that, of course but do I regret it, no. I’m not defined by my past actions and some people may hate me for the things that I have done to them but as my mother said, “It is what it is.” Is that insensitive of me? Possibly but I know some of the decisions I have made in life have not been the best but I have no reason to dwell on them or regret. What good would that do since I can’t replay those events? I’ve had my share of the karmic cycle coming to play games with my emotions because of these actions so trust I recognize real. Despite all of these things I still get excited about love and what it can bring.

Same ole laundry

A lot has happened the past couple of months and I can't help being thankful that it is a new year. Last year ended on a eh note. My ex and I have been in this complicated relationship situation where I want to be single but we still act like we are together. Time and time again we have rehashed the same issues and had the same conversation without anything changing so I made the decision to move on but he didn't. So, us still being around each other all the time was not and is not healthy. Tonight that all came to a head. He decided I could not be in his life at all if he was to be over me which totally makes sense but he can't be without me. He doesn't want to leave when I need him and I'm thankful for that but I don't want him to be miserable because of me, which is the case. I've hurt him a lot in the past by the decisions I have made, bad decisions as he calls them, but I don't see them that way. He figures guys just use me until something better comes along. I don't think that because hell I used them. I've only fallen in love with one of them and trust I know that was a mistake but I don't regret it. I welcome mistakes and failures because it helps me know what I need and don't need. If you are not good for me believe you will not be in my life. 2011 is the year of greatness for many people myself included. I am fresh out of time for foolish behavior. The truth prevails on all occasions so keep it real and always come correct. Forgot about that scary stuff and just do you. No more excuses for bad behavior and bad people. I could keep listing but you already know what it is. Being a better person comes in due time and there is no time like the present.