Monday, January 24, 2011

True Love Never Washes Away

So I receive emails from Hugh McLeod who does gapingvoid and the artwork of the day is a heart with the words we made it! He proceeds to explain about the difference between romantic love and true love and it hits me like a ton of bricks. I’ve being living my life okay with romantic love and wanting that, but true love is what I need. I’ve experienced true love once before where you just wake up one day and realize I’m in love with my best friend. That feeling still persist to this day but the guy and me are no longer together. Will we end up together, maybe. I’m more of the school of whatever happens,happens.
Since we are on the topic of love, I’m finally going through the break up for real this time. The guy I’ve been dating off and on for the past 5 years is finally going to be out of my life. Am I sad about it? Extremely, especially because I’m letting him keep the cats but it is time for both of us to move on. We’ve been fighting and trying and it just hasn’t worked. I’ve cheated on him multiple times and do I feel bad about that, of course but do I regret it, no. I’m not defined by my past actions and some people may hate me for the things that I have done to them but as my mother said, “It is what it is.” Is that insensitive of me? Possibly but I know some of the decisions I have made in life have not been the best but I have no reason to dwell on them or regret. What good would that do since I can’t replay those events? I’ve had my share of the karmic cycle coming to play games with my emotions because of these actions so trust I recognize real. Despite all of these things I still get excited about love and what it can bring.

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