Too much laundry

So I've been away for a minute and accumulated too much laundry. Let's start off with the fact that my ex boyfriend and I have been through way too many ups and downs lately. First off, there is a previous post where I told you he wasn't talking to me anymore. Well, that lasted about a week and then we talked it out and I told him all the things that I've done and we got back to a kewl place. I actually kind of fell in love with him again. Then my sister's wedding came around and everything changed. The whole time I was there I wanted to be getting married and it didn't help that my family already thought that my ex and I should get married and that I was going to be the next one to be married. I, however, start crushing on one of the groomsmen and that's when everything changed again. I suddenly didn't want to be tied down to one person but to be free to roam and do whatever I want. I get back and my entire attitude has changed. All of sudden I feel the same way towards him as I used to. That feeling of resentment and just all around being annoyed with him. So, the past couple of weeks have been quite stressful. They also have been some of the most amazing weeks ever or rather should I say interesting. At first my ex and I were just kewl with being friends and then he started to realize that he was too in love with me for that and that he wanted to spend the rest of his life with me. He asked me to marry him. I'm speechless. I for one can not come to a decision right now about marriage because of the mentality I have about relationships in general. It seems like he is pressuring me to come to a decision, not about marriage but our relationship in general. I can't wrap my mind around why I treat him the way I do. Maybe it's because of the past before we started dating. The taking advantage of how innocent I was and now I'm subconsciously letting those feelings play out in real life without realizing it. I resent him so much but that still doesn't mean I should treat him this way. I care about him and but right now making that big of a decision can not happen. I'm 23 and just trying to live life.
Another problem that arises is the one of sex. I've decided that I'm going to be celibate for awhile well at least we will see how long this lasts. I still am very much wanting my military man but he has a girl and it's starting to get complicated well not really. The thing is that military man and I enjoy each others company as well as we enjoy talking to each other. I mean when you get to the point where a conversation is better than having sex with someone then that tends to mean something. That could also cause problems. The thing is that military man likes me a lot more than he is willing to admit and it is quite obvious. From the fact he enjoys my company and wants to have relations with me to when I'm at the club he has the tendency to stare at me and watch what I'm doing(He's a bouncer as well if you were wondering). I actually think that we enjoy way too much making each other jealous but at the same time we have to act like we aren't because we just have sex with each other. It's actually quite amusing. Enough about him. I could just talk about him for hours. So the ex gets upset with the fact that I'm so kewl with having sex with another guy and doing things with this guy opposed to him. I get that I'm wrong for that I know. I just have a problem with having sex with my ex. I don't understand it because when we do have sex I do actually enjoy it. I guess I just don't want him to know that. I don't want him to have control of the sex because he was in control of it for so long. I have a lot to think about and I can't come to a conclusion. Maybe that means I need a vacay pronto if only....