the third load of laundry

So, I'm thinking that I'm in a good place right now until a guy walks by that has hurt me in my past, present, and future. His name escapes my lips and brings me back to a place that I thought I left years ago. We used to be close but then something changed; maybe it was my fault or maybe it was his. This boy and I had a special moment not once, not twice, not even three times. Every moment he was around made the moment special, he just had that ability to melt my heart with his stare and stop my breathe when he smiled. I once let this boy know how I feel and he did not dismiss my feelings like I thought he would. He instead said, "Let's see what happens. You know nothing is ever certain." He then gives me a wink and we leave it at that.
Days start to go by that we don't talk or see each other, then those days turn to weeks, months, years. I start dating someone else and I'm happy then all of a sudden----I see him and how amazing he looks. He melts me like time has not robbed us of our time together. Days go by that I see him and talk to him everyday and then there are days and weeks, I don't see him at all but phase me, it does not. I'm happy with my man, I really am. I've been in my relationship for about 2 years and then things start to get rocky. I'm itching to be free so I start going out with my boys and living my life. I run into him at the club and it's like nothing has changed between us. I can't help but want him and I'm hoping he feels the same. We talk and I tell him of my dilemma. He schools me on how if I'm not happy then it's not worth it to stay and that taking a "break" is not the way to go. I understand and I know what I have to do. The break up does not happen as soon as it should but I'm partying and going out like I am single anyway. So, I'm out one night and there he is yet again stealing my breathe away. We talk and interact as though we are the only two around and then he invites me to his place. Score!!! but wait I'm not a single woman but this is the moment I've been waiting for and I'm not about to let this pass.
We get back to his place and play a little Tiesto to set the mood. The bed is so inviting to our bodies that are calling out to each other. I want to get out of my clothes, so I ask for a shirt and some boxers. I'm not afraid to show him exactly what I'm looking to do and what I want to happen. We both get comfortable in the bed and just talk and look at the time on the ceiling. Time starts to pass and it gets later and later. I let him know that I'm surprised that he even had feelings for me. He lets me know that he has been in love with me for years but was just afraid to tell me. I can't believe my ears. Could we finally experience the life we were supposed to have together? I let him know before anything goes any further that I'm not a single woman. He understands but I can tell he is hurt by the news. I, however, don't let that stop our night from ending the way I want it to. We turn and stare into each others eyes with such passion. I have not felt such passion in a long time, then the magic moment happens, we kiss and it is just like I imagined, heaven. We get lost in the moment and in the passion. It starts to get heavy, but I can't. I stop him even though I don't want the night to end. I leave him with sadness in my eyes and heart but he leaves me with a kiss I can't forget. This nights makes me realize, my relationship with my boyfriend of 2 years must end.
My relationship ends and I think," Yes, I can finally be with the person that fuels my flame." I however ended up very disappointed. After my breakup, I talk to my lighter fluid and he seems different towards me. He does not talk as much and seems cold towards me. I don't understand so i let him know again that I am interested in pursuing a relationship and he does not turn me down, he agrees. I'm thinking, "Perfect." How wrong again I was. Right after he tells me this, he starts talking and flirting with another girl in front of me. I could not believe my eyes. How could he break my heart like this? I immediately leave and cry all the way home. The next day he finds out how heartbroken I am and decides to send me an apology. He explains how he can not give me what I want and need. This does not make sense. How can you tell me that you love me but don't want to pursue anything with me then I think that I've been used. He just said that to sleep with me, which hurts even more. Our situation to this day has not changed and it is still devastating. How can you lie to my face and lead me on to only deny me in the end? You never explained your feelings and why you can not give me what I want? Help me to understand.
Now, if this situation had actually happened what would you do? Can you explain his behaviour and is this the end of something that had the potential to be great? Situations like this arise way too often and the majority of the time the girl is the one who is lost and confused. In some situations though the guy is the one lost and confused. How do you deal with this? Do you think there is a way to get the other person to finally come clean and talk or is it really a lost cause and just lost pieces of laundry?